Every parent knows these four dreaded words all too well. This summer as my family drove 3,000 miles up and down the west coast, Deborah and I often heard some version of this refrain. So we decided to have a little fun with the kids: We told them that every time they asked how long it would be, some unexplained phenomenon would make the trip ten minutes longer; a couple of times when they asked the question, we would just be hitting a speed zone and we’d point out that the car “just started driving 10 MPH slower”. Our 12 year old caught on pretty quickly, but we all had a blast keeping this up with our 10 and 6 year olds.

 There is some truth found in our little family game, though, isn’t there? In life, every time we wonder if we are “there yet” it actually seems to take a little bit longer to get “there”. Like a cook watching for a pot to boil, or a kid wondering when she’s going to get taller, sometimes we feel like we get there faster when we aren’t so concerned about how long its taking; the destination is still the point, but the journey is part of the plan, and it can’t be skipped.

It’s often true of our spiritual growth, too. Though we understand that “there” is ultimately heaven, we rightfully expect to hit some mile-markers on the journey that help us see how we’re progressing. The trick is enjoying the season of grace we are in, even when we can’t quite make out the next mile-marker.

The Apostle John writes about some of these mile-markers in the book of 1 John 2:12-14.

I am writing to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of His name. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one.

I write to you, dear children, because you know the Father. I write to you, fathers, because you know Him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.

Let’s review the three stages he mentions:

1. Dear Children: Those who are new in the Lord celebrate that their sins have been forgiven, and that they are in relationship with the Father. We never fully leave this stage because we are always called to a childlike posture before the Lord. No matter how “sophisticated” our faith may become, we should never lose the wonder and gratitude for forgiven sin and family relationship with God.

2. Young Men: As we grow up, we keep our childlike wonder, but we don’t get stuck in childish ways; we become strong in the Word of God, and because of that we’re able to overcome the evil one. Just like young people often have a lot of energy as well as angst, I’ve observed that “spiritual young people” are passionate, energetic, and prone to emotional highs and lows; as we journey we learn to keep the passion and energy, but we grow to become more seasoned and stable.

3. Fathers: Finally, we become parents in the faith. The “father stage” indicates that we have grown in the other stages, that we have been faithful to multiply through discipleship, and that there are other believers who look to us as spiritual parents. But the only marker that the apostle mentions (twice) concerning this stage is that “you know him who is from the beginning.” As we mature in our faith, eventually we learn to quiet our souls before the Lord, and we’re more and more grateful simply for the fact that we know Jesus, He knows us, and that becomes the source of everything our lives are about.

Because I’m writing primarily to pastors, most of us have reached, or are approaching, this third step. I think the great thing about getting to the “father stage” is not that we have arrived at the end (because we haven’t) but that we have really learned how to abide in Christ. On a road trip, though I sometimes ache to get to my destination, I have learned to enjoy the journey itself, and to relish the time spent with those who journey with me. When we learn we can trust that the driver will get us there, that He won’t leave us, and that He is enjoying the journey with us too, really knowing Him is really enough.