Ministry and Family

The story found in the first few chapters of 1 Samuel both encourages me and makes me ill every time I read it.

I’m encouraged because what happens to young Samuel has many parallels to my hopes and prayers for my own kids:

I pray that my children would “grow up in the presence of the Lord” (2:21); that they would “continue to grow in stature and in favor with the Lord and with men” (2:26); that they would learn to clearly hear and respond to the Lord’s voice (3:1-14); that they would become individuals who are known by God’s presence—that He would “let none of [their] words fall to the ground” (3:19) and, that God would continue to reveal Himself to them through His Word (3:21).

This story also makes me sick, however, because of what I see in Eli:

Here is a Priest of Israel who is not raising his children well. His boys, who Eli has installed into ministry, have no regard for the Lord. They are stealing from the offerings and sleeping with the women who serve at the tabernacle.

We know that Eli is aware of the grievous sins in which his sons are engaging, and that he fails to restrain them. The sons, in fact, end up championing the worst religion has to offer—they are leaders who know how to run the religious machine but who are totally in it for themselves, and worse, who do not even know the Lord.

As a pastor who is raising three kids I want my children to look like Samuel, not like Hophni & Phinehas.

I understand if I want them to reflect Samuel I must teach them to be ready to hear the Lord speak to them and train them to obediently respond to the revelation that comes through God’s word.

But how do I keep them from acting like Eli’s sons?

I’m not really sure.

As I read the story this last time, however, I saw something I hadn’t noticed before. It seems, like most parents, Eli cared about his kids (2:23-25 & 29), but I think He cared about the Ark of the Covenant even more.

It is telling that when both the Ark and his sons go off to battle that Eli sits at the side of the road worrying about the Ark…and the news that came regarding the death of his kids didn’t kill him, but the capture of the Ark did.

It turns out that the Ark would be OK (as we discover in chapters 5 and 6 God takes care of the Ark better than Eli could). But twice leading up to that event God castigates Eli for not raising his children right and for getting his priorities all mixed up.

It looks like he had religion (the Ark) first, his sons second, and God dead last.

In other words, he was enticed to sacrifice his family on the altar of ministry and leave God standing on the sidelines.

Why do I get the feeling that if Eli would have paid better attention to the Lord and taken responsibility to raise his kids, that the function he carried out as priest would have been much healthier, too?

I’m not suggesting that we can guarantee our kids will turn out righteous—each person makes their own choices in life. But I do think that putting ‘ministry’ (religion) above both God and family is always a disaster in the making, and that wrong priorities ultimately undercut the very thing that should be most important to us.