Complaining

When my kids start whining or complaining I usually tell them to “cut it out.”

“That’s not the way we get things.”

“You are not changing your situation by complaining about it.”

My hope and expectation is that I’ll raise kids who will take responsibility for their own actions, who will be up front and proactively try to change things that need changing around them, and who won’t grumble about things that they can’t change. Ultimately you either truly accept something, be honest about why you disagree, but move ahead, or decide to move on and get out.

The world is full of whiners who don’t like what is going on, but are not willing to stick their neck out to try to do anything about it. And the workforce is full of complainers who just know they could do it better, but are not about to put themselves on the firing line to pour their energies into actually changing things for the best. Great leaders don’t bat 1,000. Heck, most of the time they don’t even bat .375. But when teammates are grousing behind their backs about all the wrong calls that are being made, it doesn’t help the team to win, it doesn’t help the leader with new perspectives, and most of all it hurts the person who is doing the complaining.

Kids: You don’t agree? Fine. Tell me why, without whining. You don’t like the cards you’re being dealt? Ok, let’s see what we can do to change it. Can’t change it? Then make the best out of what you have. Don’t like the commitment you made? First fulfill it then don’t make the same commitment again! BUT FOR GOODNESS SAKE, DON’T EVER JUST SIT AROUND AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Come to think of it, that’s not just the way I want to raise my kids, it’s the way I want to engage life, too.