How I serve as a pastor without strong ‘pastoral’ gifts (part 1)
Once I was sitting with a group of local pastors at a ministry association Christmas lunch. The President of a nearby seminary asked all of us a question: “what is your favorite part about being a pastor?” One by one the men and women in attendance answered with stories of staying up with people through crisis’, counseling young people with stars in their eyes about to be married, walking with people through life events…one guy even talked about funerals being his favorite thing (I promise, I am not making that up).
As each one spoke their turn, I began to sweat. The conversation headed around the table—towards me (I was dead last). I wanted to find an excuse to bolt for the door. When the question finally got to me I just knew that I was done for. I couldn’t think of anything that would make this sound better and I literally heard myself saying, “I really respect all of you because it sounds like you are great pastors, you are my heroes. I think I must be missing something. I don’t really enjoy the “pastor” part of this job so much. I’d much prefer to preach and study, to develop leaders, to lead a service, or to dream about where we are going and how to get there”. Miraculously (or maybe unfortunately), I wasn’t kicked out of the association.
The word pastor is related to the word for shepherd. Pastoral ministry at its core is really about taking care of each sheep—Psalm 23 kind of stuff. Walking side-by-side with folks, counseling them, and remembering every challenge they have—not to mention every birthday and anniversary.
Unfortunately, that’s not always me. I’ve taken many spiritual gifts tests through the years and on every one of them I rate dead last in the gifts of Mercy, Pastor, and Counseling…all those things normally associated with being a good pastor. It’s not that I don’t love people—I really do—but some of the things that are seen as classically ‘pastoral’ are not part of my basic personality make-up or God-given gifts.
So as a pastor without the gift of pastoring, what’s a guy to do? On one hand it would be easy for me to side with some of the current Church leadership voices who encourage Sr. Pastors to be only leaders. I could feel smug by taking solace in the advice that says Pastors will be “successful” and grow large churches only if they hand off every true pastoral duty. But I don’t want to do that. Not just because I may feel guilty if I do (a bad reason), but because I really do think that I will be missing something vital if I go that route (a good reason).
It doesn’t matter where my gifts or inclinations lie, I must shepherd people. If I don’t posses a shepherd’s heart, I need to quit. This is my call, even if manifesting these pastoral skills isn’t seen as my gifting. So how do I walk the tightrope?
Continued in Part 2…